Eleven Life Lessons in 2014

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2014 has been the most challenging year I have ever experienced, for a number of reasons. With a house move, hospital stay, the death of my elderly cat and a suddenly massive workload there have been times where I have been left feeling overwhelmed, frustrated and totally lost. However, I’ve worked incredibly hard to get back on track, things have started to settle down a little and now it seems like I have emerged on the other side. I’m a little battered and bruised, but I’m proud of everything that I have accomplished.

As with any difficulties in life, there are lessons to be learned, and I have learned a great deal of them over the last year.

1. Ask for help. A heavy workload does not go away, and the more you take on alone, the more overwhelmed you will feel. Previous experiences left me with the idea that asking for help shows signs of weakness and leaves you vulnerable and susceptible to negativity. It doesn’t. Asking for help from the right people at the right time not only allows for delegation and a reduction in workload, but it can strengthen relationships and gain you more respect from others. Two pairs of hands are always better than one.

2. Find what your passion is, and reward yourself with time to pursue it. Unless you absolutely love and live for your job (of which I know very few who do), this year has taught me that it is important to have the time to have do something that you truly enjoy. For me, that is writing, and I got into the habit of rewarding myself with time to write once I had got my work done. At times, it has been a lifesaver.

funzypics.com

funzypics.com

3. Stand up for yourself. I’m confident on paper, but in the real world I am easily intimidated and back down to avoid confrontation. This year, I didn’t – I stood my ground on things that I genuinely believed were worth standing up for, and as a result I was listened to and understood.

4. Move on. For years I held quite a nasty grudge against a few who have treated me badly. Recently, I decided to let it go. I haven’t forgotten and it is going to take some time, but I feel emotionally lighter now the heavy burden of anger has gone.

5. When things are down, surround yourself with the people that lift you. When things get tough I shut down and close myself in. However, recently I decided to change this rather nasty habit and started to make more of an effort with people who I enjoy spending time with. Consequently, I have had some brilliant evenings over the last year which have given me the opportunity to relax, switch off and enjoy their company.

6. Stop procrastinating. As the self- proclaimed ‘Queen of Procrastination’ I learned that this was being detrimental to my lifestyle. Instead, I learned to try and do things when they were set, rather than leaving it till the deadline. The sooner something is started, the sooner it is finished.

endlesdogs.com

endlesdogs.com

7. Sleep. I’ve always been a night owl – I much prefer being awake late than getting up for an early morning. Unfortunately, this also meant that I was tired during the times where the most energy was needed, so I started taking myself off to bed earlier and getting up earlier. I feel much better for it.

8. Breathe. It is ok to take time for yourself. You are allowed to relax, read a book, have a long bath, watch an uplifting film or have a massage without feeling guilty. This year I have learned to sit back, take stock of recent events and just breathe. My only regret is that I didn’t learn to do this earlier.

9. Stop worrying. I worry about anything and everything, but recently I learned to start asking myself if the issue that was causing the anxiety would still be an issue in a few days time, and what the solution would be. If something is beyond my control, I am trying to accept that it is what it is.

10. Look after your health. I allowed my pace of life to take over and avoided minor nagging physical ailments because I was ‘too busy’ to go to the doctors. I stopped taking care of myself. I ignored an easily treatable urinary tract infection, which over time developed into quite a serious kidney infection that landed me in hospital for nearly a week. This year, I have learned that my health takes priority over everything, and I take the time to ensure that I am getting everything that I need to remain so.

11. Most importantly, I have learned to be a little more appreciative of the people who have been there through it all – The Bloke who has provided constant support, love and a shoulder to cry on, the friends who have bought me a drink at the end of a tough day, who visited me in hospital, who have listened when I have needed to talk, my family, and, of course, you guys. You’ve helped me through the best and worst moments of this year, and your messages and emails have made me laugh. Thank you.

What about you guys? What have you learnt in the last twelve months?

You can also find me on Twitter and Tumblr @suzie81blog, and don’t forget to check out my Facebook page http://www.facebook.com/suzie81speaks

 

 

Reflections On a Challenging Year

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After the presents have been opened, all the food has been consumed and the parties have ended, many of us go through the process of reflection on the year that has passed and set ourselves targets and challenges for the next.

I decided a year ago that 2014 was going to be my year. This was the time where, after experiencing a very difficult time in 2013, there was going to be changes. There was indeed change – I lost my little friend who had been my constant companion for thirteen years, I was hospitalised for nearly a week and had to take five weeks off work to recover (which put a strain on my relationships with some of my colleagues and has affected my health permanently), our charlatan landlady decided to sell the house we had only moved into six months previously, forcing us to take out a loan and find somewhere very quickly while I was still recovering from my illness, The Bloke lost someone dear to him for the third time in three years and had to take on the extra strain and pressure of supporting me while I regained my strength, and my workload tripled.

However, it hasn’t been all bad – I was able to establish a better relationship with family members, my sister got married to a lovely man, my other sister met the man who I think she is going to end up with, and throughout I have been supported by the best group of friends that anybody could hope for.

My New Years Resolutions have followed the same pattern for the last few years and the resulting list will give an idea of how successful I have been in achieving these goals over the last twelve months:

1. Lose weight and get healthy. As I write I am the heaviest I have ever been. Ever. Seriously, ever. Things now wobble that aren’t supposed to wobble and have never wobbled before. A taxi driver asked me a few months ago when my baby was due and then proceeded to give me diet tips when I informed him that I wasn’t pregnant. I can’t fit into my sweat pants. Beautiful dresses that I wore a year ago now don’t go past my hips… However, I do exercise more – I jog sporadically. And by sporadically, I mean that I have been for a total of seven jogging sessions in the last twelve months, totalling about 20 miles. That’s less than three miles a month.

2. Stop smoking. While I don’t smoke anywhere near what I used to, I have been known to enjoy a cigarette or ten when I’m drinking. Or stressed. Or celebrating. Or walking to the bus stop.

3. Take the time to send birthday cards to my friends in other cities. Number of cards sent via post in the last year? One. My friends mean a lot to me and the good intentions are always there, but the execution is decidedly poor.

4. Take more care in my appearance. The last time I got my hair cut? Eighteen months ago. I haven’t really bothered wearing make up since my birthday in November. I spend the majority of my personal time dressed in hooded sweaters and jeans, very much like the teenage boys that I teach.

5. Save money. My current savings account does indeed have money in there: 0.47p. Genuinely. After a years worth of work on a good salary I have successfully managed to save a whole 47p. That should pay for a chocolate bar… Just.

6. Be more organised. I don’t even want to think about the stacks of papers and files I need to sort through. Or the washing that needs to be done. Or the… let’s just say that I have collected a lot of stuff, and it’s everywhere.

2014 was not a year of living, it was simply an existence – getting by from day to day in the hope that things would soon improve. The real truth is that certain aspects of my life in 2014 were not how I imagined my life, and indeed, who I, should be, and at the age of 33 now is the time to stop pretending that a mere existence is acceptable.

For 2015, I have decided that I will get rid of all of my previous superficial goals and replace them with just a single one: I am going to take the risk.

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What about you guys? Have you any goals for 2015?

You can also find me on Twitter and Tumblr @suzie81blog and don’t forget to check out my Facebook page http://www.facebook.com/suzie81speaks

#SundayBlogShare: The Final Sunday Twitter Party of 2014!

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It’s Saturday night, which means only one thing – tomorrow is my #SundayBlogShare party on Twitter! It’s the ninth consecutive party and I’ve been overwhelmed by how quickly it has grown, with nearly a thousand posts being shared last week! However, it’s also the last one of 2014, and I need your help to make it go out with a bang! 

Everyone is welcome to participate – you don’t have to follow Suzie81 Speaks or its associated social media accounts, there are no limits on the amount of posts that you share and you don’t need to have a specific theme to your blog or the links that you share. Simply tweet your link with the hashtag #SundayBlogShare and enjoy! Meet hundreds of other bloggers, retweet their posts and build your own Twitter following!

The rules are simple and easy to follow:

1. #SundayBlogShare is a happy place. Anything that contains racist, homophobic and/or sexist material will be removed and reported.

2. Blog posts only! No inspirational quotes, links to book promotions on Amazon or porn.

3. Share the #bloglove! Follow, retweet and enjoy lots of posts from blogger all over the world. However, don’t be desperate enough to beg for or demand retweets and follows from others.

You can also include my Twitter handle @suzie81blog and I can easily retweet you!

The party is on all day – you are welcome to join us at anytime throughout Sunday!

Here is where I need your help my lovely bloggy friends. The more people you invite, the more of a success it is going to be… I’ll get the drinks and the party hats, you share the hashtag with everyone you know.

Looking forward to seeing you all there!

You can find me on Twitter and Tumblr @suzie81blog and don’t forget to check out my Facebook page http://www.facebook.com/suzie81speaks

 

Selfie Sticks, Chocolate Cake and Ian, the Scary Gnome

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I made a promise to myself last year that Christmas 2014 would be one to remember, and it certainly was. After resolving a few issues over the last few months I was genuinely looking forward to the prospect of celebrating the festive season with my family. Continue reading

A Lovely Christmas Eve

It’s been a lazy Christmas Eve so far at the Suzie household. Mum and I woke and had a nice breakfast, followed by half a box of chocolates, I’ve had plenty of doggy snuggles and I’ve watched lots of pointless television whilst relaxing in my jammies and under a duvet on the couch.

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During a moment of boredom I remembered that I had brought up a sequin covered Santa hat, and have been torturing the dog with it ever since. After initial indignation, Max eventually gave up and went to sleep. The resulting pictures were hilarious (for me, at least).

I’m not sure how much I’ll be able to visit the blog over the next few days, but I hope that wherever you are and whatever you’re doing, you’re happy and peaceful. May you have a lovely holiday season, filled with joy, laughter and cheer.

 

Travelling Home For Christmas

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I’m on a train up to Manchester to spend Christmas with my mum, sisters and brother-in-law. I got up early in an attempt to beat the thousands of people that are embarking on similar journeys today, and I appear to have made the right decision- my carriage is almost empty, very quiet and calm. The Bloke is going to his mum’s tomorrow and my friend is looking after the cats, so aside from braving the hoards of people that will undoubtedly be in a blind panic in Marks and Spencer’s later to purchase something for our Christmas dinner tomorrow I’m pretty much set for the next few days.

The Bloke and I had our own little Christmas together on Sunday. We awoke in the morning and exchanged gifts. As usual, he’d spoilt me rotten with thoughtful and amusing presents, including a DVD of Masters of the Universe. It was the first film I ever saw at the cinema, and I have been in love with Dolph Lundgren ever since. I made a passing comment a few weeks ago about the fact that I only own it in VHS and can’t find it on DVD anywhere, so he imported it from the States. Awesome. He also made me this:

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I cried laughing – I had seen a similar image on a blog post a while ago and have been trawling the Internet for a t shirt, only to discover that he had made transfers and ironed it on. Genius. The only trouble is, I’m not sure where I could wear it without getting beaten up by die hard Nirvana fans…

We ate a beautiful dinner with all the trimmings, indulged in an epic amount of chocolate whilst watching Masters of the Universe and spent the rest of the day snuggled up with the cats (once they had finished kicking the crap out of their Christmas presents – catnip filled stuffed mice) and talking. It was nice. No, it was more than nice, it was perfect. We’ve been together for years and have only spent one Christmas together properly, so it’s great that we can create our own with our own little family.

I’m looking forward to a few days of fun, laughter and plenty of sleep with the family- after reconciling a number of issues recently it’s going to be the first one in years that we will all be able to enjoy each other’s company!

If I don’t get the opportunity to tell you so beforehand, have a lovely festive season, whether you celebrate Christmas or not!

You can also find me on Twitter and Tumblr @suzie81blog

Alternative Ideas for Christmas Presents

Warning: adult content

It’s the season for gatherings, celebrations and showing your loved ones how much you care by giving them meaningful gifts and over the years I have been extremely lucky to have been spoilt with things that have been thoughtful and useful from my family and friends.

While it is always important to remember to be grateful and remind ourselves that it it is the thought that counts, there are always those items that make us stop and scratch our heads when presented with them. A friend of mine once told me that she was given a book on tropical plant care from 1984 by a relative – it was a nice idea, except that she lived in a one bedroom apartment in the UK with no garden or even a balcony, where the climate is far from tropical, and she has never owned or maintained any form of plant life except a persistent patch of mould in her bathroom.

Have you run out of ideas? Are you looking to give entertaining presents to someone in your life? Here are a list of ideas from Amazon.com, along with a helpful review to assist you in your decision making.

 

image1. A Gentlemen’s Ball Scratcher

Price: £11.67

Useful for? Any man who struggles with scratching himself in those hard to reach areas.

Review: I’ve been using the ball scratcher for almost a day now, but have to say that it should be used with care. It seems to have upset several of the people whose balls I’ve tried to scratch with it. Maybe it’s best kept for personal use. (Harold Moldsworth)

 

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2. Sigmund Freud Action Figure

Price: £49.99

Useful for? Children who think too much, psychology students, Action Man fans.

Review: This Freud toy makes a perfect addition to my Action Man collection. Now, after playing with my Action Man figures, they can come back from operations for a session with the esteemed doctor and deal with any post traumatic stress they may be experiencing. He proved invaluable after a particularly vigorous play session, when my favourite Frog-Man Action Man nearly drowned on manoeuvres in the bath. After untangling him from the plug chain and reviving him with my Field Doctor figurine, a quick session with Sigmund and he was ready to go back out into theatre and tackle a dangerous black-op in the garden pond. The sessions did bring a few issues to the surface (from the barracks during basic training) but that in turn led to a better understanding of why he joined the Navy instead of the RAF; and also why he enjoys the feel of his rubber suit and gimp-like breathing apparatus so much. (The Truth)

 

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3. Box Canvas Print of Paul Ross

Price: £2,500

Useful for? Those who are looking to transcend the drudgery of daily life and seek out enlightenment, Paul Ross enthusiasts.

Review: WOW! I’ve been looking for a 20 Inch Box Canvass of Paul Ross since my (completely inferior) 18 Inch Box Canvass of Paul Ross was damaged during a Barium Enema. Thankfully this Canvass really is excellent. The quality of print complements the sheer majesty of Paul’s cherubic face. For a while I considered mounting a large number of these on my ceiling to create a Paul Ross canvass ceiling but unfortunately I realised that this is what my wife would be staring at during our frenzied horizontal moments, and what kind of a man can compare to Paul Ross in the bedroom? “No-one” I hear you cry! I’ve ordered four of these now: One of them is above the fireplace and is naturally the pride of our entire home. On the second canvass I’ve cut out the section where Paul’s face is, and when I drive to pick up the kids I wear the canvass and pretend that I’m a famous celebrity dad, the kids simply love it. The third is purely for recreational purposes, I’ve cut a whole where Paul’s mouth would be because my wife has demanded that we French kiss through the hole (I want to point out that I wear the canvass for kissing, not her! Although I’d gladly turn for just one of Paul’s tender mouth hugs.) The fourth is a backup. In summary – hot shot city is a particularly good track. (Mr M.P. Corner)

 

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4. Suduko Toilet Roll

Price: £5.99

Useful for? Those who view visits to the toilet as an educational experience.

Review: This product is an excellent idea, but ultimately flawed. At £6.95 a roll, I couldn’t bear to use any of the sheets until I had completed the puzzles on them. While my suduko skills have been improving with practice, the effectiveness of the product’s primary function was somewhat reduced after having to complete an hour or so of puzzle-solving before application. Also, Doreen was rather severely unimpressed when I proudly showed her my solution to a particularly tricky puzzle that I had salvaged from a watery grave. (Wayne Redhart)

 

image5. The Vagina Colouring Book by Tee Corinne (crayons not included)

Price: £6.41

Useful for? Biology and erotic art students, aspiring illustrators.

Review: I bought the C*nt Coloring Book after coming across it in Stephen Fry’s latest memoirs “More Fool Me”. I was intrigued. Fingering through the book exposed bold, well defined vaginas of varying size and hair growth. The annual household game of Christmas “charades” is now replaced by a colouring competition. The winner receiving a packet of ginger nut biscuits and a jar of Branston original chutney. (David Curtis)

What about you guys? Have you got any ideas for alternative Christmas presents?

You can also find me on Twitter and Tumblr @suzie81blog and don’t forget to check out my Facebook page http://www.facebook.com/suzie81speaks

 

The Anti-Flirt Club

The Anti-Flirt Club

The Anti-Flirt Club

The Anti-Flirt Club was an American club that began in Washington, D.C., during the early 1920s. After being subjected to unwelcome attention from men in ‘automobiles and on street corners,’ a group of women, led by President Alice Reighly, formed the club to protect young girls and women from further embarrassment and discomfort. A list of rules were created and issued to all of the members:

1. Don’t flirt: those who flirt in haste oft repent in leisure.

2. Don’t accept rides from flirting motorists—they don’t invite you in to save you a walk.

3. Don’t use your eyes for ogling—they were made for worthier purposes.

4. Don’t go out with men you don’t know—they may be married, and you may be in for a hair-pulling match.

5. Don’t wink—a flutter of one eye may cause a tear in the other.

6. Don’t smile at flirtatious strangers—save them for people you know.

7. Don’t annex all the men you can get—by flirting with many, you may lose out on the one.

8. Don’t fall for the slick, dandified cake eater—the unpolished gold of a real man is worth more than the gloss of a lounge lizard.

9. Don’t let elderly men with an eye to a flirtation pat you on the shoulder and take a fatherly interest in you. Those are usually the kind who want to forget they are fathers.

10. Don’t ignore the man you are sure of while you flirt with another. When you return to the first one you may find him gone.

The ladies attempted to take this a step further, and launched an “Anti-Flirt” week, which began on March 4, 1923. Unfortunately, it was the first, and only since.

Some sound advice that made me smile and nod in agreement, which I believe is still extremely relevant nearly 100 years later.

You can also find me on Twitter and Tumblr @suzie81blog, and don’t forget to check out my Facebook page http://www.facebook.com/suzie81speaks

Image source: Wikipedia

 

11 Tips to Avoid Getting Punched in the Face When Travelling by Train This Christmas

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In a few days time I will be on a train up to Manchester so I can spend the holidays with my mum, sisters and brother-in-law. I’ve made this journey on this particular day (the day before Christmas Eve) for twelve years, and in each one the same stereotypes appear without fail. It’s always extremely busy and cramped and with the holiday trials and tribulations it’s not unusual to see frayed tempers, but in the case of some people it’s easy to see why others get frustrated with them. If you are attempting to travel via train over the next few days, here are some helpful hints and tips that may avoid you getting punched in the face on your journey.

1. Stop complaining. It isn’t my fault that the train is late, that it’s cold, you’ve forgotten one of your presents, the train is too busy, that you’re fed up of the rain or that the price of the coffee is too high. Unless you’re prepared to become a god-like figure and physically change the weather, or be able to invest several billion pounds to improve the quality of the rail network (which isn’t actually that bad in my opinion) then there isn’t anything you can do. (I do appreciate the irony of my complaints about complainers here…).

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Tip 2. If someone is wearing headphones, they don’t want to talk to you. I quite like chatting to various people that I meet on my travels, but I often witness someone persistently attempt to talk to the person sitting next to them on multiple occasions, apparently completely oblivious at the irritated response they are receiving – huffing, rolling of eyes and making a big show of taking their headphones off every time they are asked a question are usually an indication that they want to be left alone. Some may perceive this as rude, but it’s important to remember that there may be a valid reason why they want to keep themselves to themselves.

Tip 3. Put your phone on silent. While I’m sure that having the ‘Knightrider’ theme tune as your ring tone is the best thing ever in your world, I lose interest after the fourth time of hearing it. Similarly, I also don’t want to hear every time you match the candies on Candy Crush.

Tip 4. Wash yourself and your clothes before you travel. Clean your teeth. The smell of B.O. and last night’s garlic bread are unlikely to make you new friends anytime soon.

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Tip 5. Learn the benefits of a capsule wardrobe. Unless you are going away for several weeks and have bought a present for each resident within your town, NOBODY needs three suitcases. Every year I always seem to sit next to different ladies that are visiting their children for a week and yet have still managed to bring several enormous suitcases with them ‘just in case.’ That’s fine, until everyone else realises that there is no space left for their own luggage and that’s when the arguments start.

Tip 6. If you haven’t been organised enough to reserve a seat in advance, don’t sit down with your enormous bags in a seat that says ‘reserved.’ Similarly, when the actual owner of the seat informs you that you’re sitting in their space, don’t tut, roll your eyes and make a huge show of moving out of the way. It’s your mistake, not theirs.

Tip 7. If you are feeling hungry, you have every right to eat. However, be aware that certain foods smell really strong and their essence will not only permeate the entire carriage but the smell will linger long after you’ve reached your destination, leaving fellow passengers with a delightful odour to remember you by. To the lady who got off the train at Stafford last year, I’m sure that the smell of the rotten hummus you ate is still in the air of that carriage.

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Tip 8. Remember that personal space is quite important to some people. Standing so close to the person in front that they can feel your breath in their ears when waiting to get off the train is not going to make the process any faster. Neither will using your bag in an attempt to edge them forward.

Tip 9. Be aware that when you fall asleep, you may not be in control of yourself. Expect that some may not like it if you use them as a pillow and start dribbling on their shoulder.

Tip 10. PUT YOUR HAND OVER YOUR MOUTH. This can be applied to any number of functions – coughing, sneezing, yawning are among these.

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Tip 11. Most importantly, remember that you aren’t the only person to be using the service. You aren’t the only one that is tired, stressed, behind in your Christmas prep and desperate to get to your destination. Be respectful, be polite and chill the f*ck out!

What about you guys? Do you see the same stereotypes whenever you use public transport?

You can also find me on Twitter and Tumblr @suzie81blog and don’t forget to check out my Facebook page http://www.facebook.com/suzie81speaks

 

Santa Hats and a Sober Tree

imageI think I enjoy the build up to the festive season more than the actual day itself. The German Market arrives in the city centre, encouraging us to consume enormous sausages (!!),  hot gluhwein, crepes and pofferjies covered in Nutella, and endless craft based crap that we didn’t realise that we wanted until we saw it. Carols and festive songs appear in all the stores and on every television advert. I get to buy presents for everyone and celebrate with my favourite people. Work finishes for a few weeks. I love it. I love the excitement, the decorations that appear, the atmosphere. Aside from the occasional hot, sunny days that the UK receives every summer, this is absolutely my favourite time of year.

I decided to join in the festive spirit and decorate our tree. The Bloke and I bought a fake one (due to the fact that the cats would attempt to eat a real one) about five years ago from Argos, and each year we diligently take it out of it’s box and joke about the fact that it looks drunk. He set it up and put the lights on it while I was away at my mother’s house ready for my return on Sunday, but as I was feeling rough I didn’t tackle it until yesterday evening. Amidst the box of random decorations that we have collected over the years I discovered something that would provide me with hours of entertainment…

I found the Santa hats.

Two years ago I purchased three small Santa hats for the cats, and I consider the fact that I was able to get a photograph of all three of them sitting together and wearing them to be one of my greatest achievements of that year. Sadly, I lost one of the cats earlier in the year at the age of nineteen, so I decided that The Bloke needed to take her place instead (with an adult sized one, of course – we wouldn’t want him looking stupid, would we?). On went the hats, and out came the camera.

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All of them were less than impressed, particularly Daisy when I decided to double my fun.

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I eventually stopped laughing, The Bloke stopped rolling his eyes and I got my decorating on. I tried to spend a little more time on it than in previous years, attempting to space them all equally, colour coordinating etc, and after a few catastrophes with bits of tinsel and standing on a few stray decorations that had fallen on the floor, I stepped back to admire my masterpiece.

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“What do you think?” I asked The Bloke. He turned his head to one side.

“Yup.”

Cheers for that dear. Upon closer inspection, it actually wasn’t too bad – for once my little tree seemed to be… Sober!

Win!

 

What about you guys? Have you got any silly traditions within your family during the holiday season?

You can also find my on Twitter and Tumblr @suzie81blog and don’t forget to check out my Facebook page http://www.facebook.com/suzie81speaks