The WordPress Community Experiment: The Answers!

Posted on December 9, 2014 by suzie81speaks

In August I decided to do a little experiment involving members of the WordPress community. I asked a series of seven questions and invited anyone and everyone to respond, regardless of whether they followed Suzie81 Speaks or not. I had done a similar experiment the year before with great success, and as my community has grown since then I thought it would be an interesting way to get to know fellow bloggers. While I expected some sort of a response, I didn’t expect the enormity of the amount of answers I received, generating HUNDREDS of individual answers to my questions. In order for me to be able to include everyone, I have had to limit it to just one answer per blogger. I haven’t compiled it in order of preference, but I have tried to include an interesting answer from each person, complete with a link to their blog if it is still available. I think you’ll agree that the responses I received are emotive, witty and offer a small insight to the variety of bloggers that exist within the WordPress world.

It’s a lot of reading, but here is a pre-made blog party for you where you can go and check out all the blogs that participated.

Editors note: If I have accidentally missed you out, please let me know and I’ll link you asap!

1. How did you create the title for your blog?

I thought of two iconic things from where I come from and where I live now ie Scotland and New Zealand, hence Thistles and Kiwis (Thistles and Kiwis)

The DMB song “Grey Street” described my life spectacularly at the time. (Georgia Mom)

It was the name of the website that I created during my Ph.D. (which I have quit since then). Originally it was Science Fiction, Media and Fandom, but evolved into Science Fiction, Transmedia and Fandom as I did more research work. Save for gender studies, it reflects my main fields of work as an independent researcher, writer and public speaker (Natacha Guyot)

It seems like everything I say is part of a bad conversation. So every post is Another Bad Conversation. (Another Bad Conversation)

Telling the Truth. It describes in three words what I’m doing in the blog. I’m telling the truth (for the first time) about how I was groomed to be a victim, how that affected me as a child, young adult, wife/mother and professional, and what it took to survive and thrive. (Telling the Truth)

I came up with the name while talking with people at work. They kept calling me Bitter Ben because of all the complaining I would do at work. They said I should start a blog about all things I was bitter about. The natural extension Ben’s Bitter Blog. (Ben’s Bitter Blog)

It’s based on a old episode of M*A*S*H (Apple Pie and Napalm)

Special Needs children are referred to as Exceptional, and I live in Delaware, so my blog is for all the Exceptional people in Delaware, children, teens and adults! (Exceptional Delaware)

My ex was stalking me on here. I needed to come up with a name he wouldn’t associate with Kate. My 11 year old son came up with the name FlippyZipFlop, and I decided to keep it. Professional looking? Absolutely not. However, it makes him a part of my daily writing, so I’ll continue to keep it. (FlippyZipFlop)

2. What’s the one bit of blogging advice you would give to new bloggers?

Pace yourself in blogging. Set a schedule. You can write as much as you like, but you don’t have to post it all as you complete it unless it is a time sensitive subject. I border on burnout daily, hourly. (Ronovan Writes)

You won’t get 100,000 views on your first blog post. You will start off small, but regular, interesting posts, full of passion will generate traffic. You will meet other incredible bloggers too, there to support you and provide you with advice. (A Reflective Student)

Once you figure out what your theme is, you have to remember it each and every time you post. I can’t write about fashion and celebrity in my blog unless I can find a creative way to bring it back to health and Dr. Oz’s advice. (The “Whiz-ard” That is Dr. Oz)

Participate, participate, participate. In whatever you like and where your preferences go, from Weekly Photo Challenges, Daily ones, Writing ones, all sorts of challenges other bloggers do… You will find benefits are triple, you craft your talent and things you are passionate about, you meet other people who are interested in same stuff and others see your work. (Ivy Mosquito)

My advice would be to write with passion. Write about your passions, because if you’re not having fun writing, then you will feel burnt out quickly. Also, make sure to read as many blogs as possible. This will help you meet other bloggers and help you become a better blogger (Humyn)

Be true to yourself and don’t try to cater to others. (Richard Ankers The Writings)

Blogging is about community, about sharing, and about learning. Enjoy the process and making new friends! (Writing Rachael Ritchley)

Just be yourself and don’t worry so much about the naysayers… If you put out genuine posts then stand behind them. (Valley Girl Gone Country)

Get a thick skin. In the infidelity blogs it’s dangerous. You show your pain and hurt and you get people who did the same things to other people, be they cheating spouses or their third parties, who come in and insult you or patronise you and try to make you feel you caused it, or you should do (insert self serving course that let’s them off the hook). Well, screw that. You have to be strong enough to stick to your voice and not be hurt by them. I’m sure trolls hurt bloggers even on less sensitive topics, so the thick skin is my best advice. (Writes Itself)

3. What is the strangest experience you’ve ever had?

Working at in Int’l border crossing and a naked man walked in and asked my supervisor for a cigarette and a light, then walked back out into the rain… We all just stared as each of us was speechless. (Annette Rochelle Aben)

When I worked in another city, I found out my “twin” (the one they say you always have) worked in the same building. For a year, we had fun taunting and fooling those who knew us. (Mary J. Melange)

Strange doesn’t really happen to me…stupid, yes, all the time, but not strange so much. The strangest thing that’s happened might be my mother picking out my husband nearly a decade before we got married. (Somber Scribbler)

Being knocked out by an electric potato peeler and waking up thinking I was in heaven because this beautiful lady was looking down at me. (Hugh’s Views and News)

The day my Father in Law asked me to do him a manicure and pedicure. He had never had one and saw me doing my own. It felt a bit odd and it did take me aback when he asked. He passed away that night, a heart attack in his sleep. I always wondered if he ‘knew’… (CeeJayKayFit)

During the last month of my pregnancy I was on full bedrest due to concerns about pre-eclempsia and it was the height of summer in the DC Metro area so the windows were shut tight with the AC on full blast. During that last month periodically I would start to smell my grandmothers Snickerdoodles (which she made me every year for my birthday) or her perfume (Heaven Scent) – my grandmother had passed away a few years earlier. My son, The Boy of Terror (BoT) talks about her now and about her snickerdoodles (Masala and Blarney)

It involved a sleepless night, Apples to Apples, some lab goggles, my eventual detainment and a supposed ban from WalMart nationwide. Try not to re-live it. (Permashift)

Being surrounded by the SBI and law enforcement and soldiers and things while innocently exploring a cooling tower at a nuclear power station. It turns out that just because the front gate is open does not mean that you’re welcome to visit. (This was before 9/11 or things would have probably been even stickier than they were.) (Nerd in the Brain)

I was 16 and some random guy proposed to me at the library. He also asked me if he could meet my father to ask for my hand in marriage. I just looked him up and down and walked away. Btw he wasn’t joking … (Nuuray)

I had taken a $20 bill, in singles, and left them all in a family Dollar store as Random Act of Kindness. About a week later, a woman handed me a $20 dollar bill in the dressing room, in my yoga studio, saying – “You must have dropped this because there was no one else there.” Astoundingly weird! (Lavender Reflections)

On my blog or in life? In life, setting the garbage truck on fire is probably the strangest that my wife will let me talk about in public. It’s a long story so you gotta find that on my blog. (Parnassus Musings)

If we’re talking about overall, probably the time I was kidnapped, robbed, molested, tied up, and left for dead by 4 Guatemalans in the jungle in Belize on the first full day of my honeymoon. I wanted to go to DisneyWorld. (O Pie-oneers!) EDITORS NOTE: WHAT!!!!

4. What is the best thing that anybody has ever said to you?

My boyfriend said to me once “We will both grow old and let’s face it, not look youthful and fabulous any more. But you have wonderful personality so you will always be the most beautiful person in the world to me.” (I Follow Islands)

I had a meeting with Dr. Dre about the possibility of his buying my bank robbery script. He told me, “You are one sick mother$%^&*” and that’s the coolest compliment I’ve ever received about my writing. And it was from Dr Dre! (The Return of the Modern Philosopher)

The executive director at work (large, worldwide organization) wrote the following statement on his well-read blog last year (about me managing the internal communications blog) — and he’d never done that before or after about anyone else. “… If you ever get the chance to meet Diane XX, please thank her and give her some feedback. She is amazing and we are lucky to have someone like her as a part of our team. Her enthusiasm and desire to help is second to none.” That had to be the high point of my working life! (Thoughts, Tips and Tales)

My mum. Just a few weeks before she died. I stayed over night with her in hospital and she woke up the next morning and said: “how lovely that I open my eyes and the first thing I see is you” (Carol’s Learning Curve) EDITORS NOTE: THIS MADE ME CRY.

I once went out with my version of The World’s Most Interesting Man and he said I reminded him of Ireland. This guy absolutely loved his trips to Ireland and he has been everywhere and went on to explain how I remind him of his favorite place. It was very, very smooth of him. So, I replied with well that sucks because I’m Scottish Welsh. (Winter Bayne)

”The world needs more people like you”, (my grandfather) (A Blonde Brain)

I have a husband who says lots of wonderful things—probably far more than I deserve. I think, though, that the day a student came in and told me that she got into nursing school and thanked me for helping her with her application was one of the best moments I’ve had—it was a moment of really seeing that what I do really and truly affects other people. (Part Time Monster)

My son telling me that he was finally feeling OK, months after his depression hit its lowest point last year. Being told “I love you”, sincerely, by someone you love is also a nice thing to hear. (Not a Punk Rocker)

This is a toughy. One time before I got married to Mrs. Fearless Leader, her daughter (now MY little girl too) came up to me while I was washing dishes and asked, “Toby? Would you be my Daddy?” It’s pretty hard to top that. (Dumbass News)

5. When presented with a time machine, which one time and place would you visit?

My teenage self to warn against making major life decision based on love for the wrong me (tenderness on the block)

Middle Europe at the end of the last Ice Age, right after the eruption of the Laacher See
volcano (Germany) 12900 years ago. (A Neat Street)

Piazza Maggiore in Bologna on VE Day at End of World War ll. (A.K.Andrew Writer’s Notebook)

Most definitely pioneer days. I’d be on one of those Conestoga wagons heading off for new adventures out West. (misterio press)

Any time during the life of Gene Kelly or Frank Sinatra. I absolutely adore them both and would worship the group that Gene Kelly walked on if he was still alive! (New Teacher Life)

I would go back and see The Beatles in concert in 1963 or 1964. I was too young to have seen them. (Vintage Rock)

I’d travel into the future to see if we ever terraform Mars. Then start quoting Total Recall; ”Are you crazy? I don’t even know anything about Mars!” (One Man’s Adventures in the Big Wide World)

I would go to a place near Moscow (Russia) to 1974 and play badminton with my dear friend Yury (he passed away in 1976 when he was only 42 years old). (Pursuit of Happiness)

I’m more of a “never look back” person. I try to live in the moment and learn from each experience. While it is tempting to ponder time travel to an early time in my own life, and maybe tweak a few things, I would refrain. You always have to go through the dark to get to the light. If I was thinking about it from a historical perspective, there are so many times I would love to visit, mostly during the 20th century. The world went through so many dramatic changes. It would be fascinating to experience things first hand. Specifically, I would visit the 1940s. Politics, war, fashion, music. It was an important time. (Steps Times Two)

6. If you had to pick a new first name, what would you choose?

Well, my first name is pretty cool. If I just had to change it, I’d go with Cesare and insist on the correct pronunciation. (Sourcerer)

Duke, because of a chance encounter I had with John ‘Duke’ Wayne which ended with him asking me to wear his nickname as a thank you for a service I was able to render him. (dukea98)

I’m named for my grandfather. There isn’t another name in the world I’d like better. (Old Road Apples)

I absolutely can’t think of any other first names I’d like because I’ve taught so many girls over the past 43 years and probably have memories of all of them. (How Can I Control My Class?)

Years ago, when I was working as a psychic, I was advised to be a one-name psychic and that Jennifer is not my name. I chose Rachael. After 14 years of not using that name, I am using it again. I truly am Rachael, not Jennifer. The name never suited me. Makes me think of a leggy blonde with biceps. Rachael is the Earth Goddess. (A Little Fluff)

I’d like to have the first name Éilís which is Irish for my real name. It rhymes with ‘I wish’ when pronounced correctly. It’s unusual and a traditional link to my heritage. (Green Lizard’s Blog)

Probably the name of some literary character given that I named my daughter after the heroine in Edith Wharton’s The House of Mirth. (Parent Your Business)

Hmmm, that’s a tough one. Maybe something like super or amazing or uncanny. Incredible, astonishing, spectacular…. well you get the point. I might even need a cool costume made of spandex. I would need to go on a workout binge first though. (JED’s Playhouse)

7. If you were a ‘B’ Movie, what would it be called?

Decent People Also Succeed. (ashokbhatia)

If it’s the 1950’s campy invader type, it’d probably be something like “Revenge of the Lab Wererat”. If it could include late ’70s and ’80s sci-fi and comic book movies, it might be “Song of the Stars”. (the tao of jaklumen)

Close Encounters of a Would-Be Reporter! (Thoughts By Mello-Ello)

Frenzy of the Sleepless Zombie Mama vs Mutant Laundry Pile of Doom (Barb Taub)

The Day It All Went Weird. (Manchester Flick Chick)

Starship Captains Don’t Wear Dresses. When I was a kid, they said that would be the name of my biopic. (Things Matter)

Indecisive Decisiveness (though, that may run the potential of becoming an art film…) (Ecclectic Alli)

Estrogen Overload…I have four daughters who are 21, 20, 18 and 15. Good times!!! (greatsnaps, goodtimes and me)

“My Time Is Now” and its sequel “Damn, That Was Fun!” (Butterfly Sand)

EDITOR’S NOTE: A special thank you to Gene’O and his blogs, including Sourcerer Blog who posted all of the links onto a Pinterest board.

Interested in seeing all of the answers in full? Visit the original post here and read on!

You can also find me on Twitter and Tumblr @Suzie81blog and don’t forget to check out my Facebook page http://www.facebook.com/suzie81speaks

Image Credits

Game of Thrones: zipmeme

Peanuts: manovotny.com

Xibit: troll.me

Polar Bear: makeameme.com

Delorean: hdw.eweb4.com

Baby: currentbuzz.my

Futurama: quickmeme.com

Excuses, Excuses

Posted on December 2, 2014 by suzie81speaks

Every registration in a morning is the same process: register students, check uniform, check stationery, give announcements, ask individuals to stay behind if they’ve got it wrong. I like to speak to them individually as it’s impossible to predict whether something bad has happened outside school, so it provides students to opportunity to talk without their peers being present. I like my tutor group and I have a good relationship with them so I find that we can talk to each other easily, but I do often have the same conversations and say the same things every single day to students:

“Why are you late?”

“Why don’t you have a pen?”

“Where’s your tie?”

“Why did you get a detention for…”

I’m also frustrated at hearing the same excuses every day:

“I woke up late”

“I forgot my PE kit so I had to go home and get it”

“I went to the toilet”

“I lost my bag”

The excuses are never original, the only difference being that it is a different child daily that gives them and after hearing them repeatedly for years I feel like I should be in the ‘Groundhog Day.’ These conversations are always followed by sanctions and phone calls home.

However, occasionally something will snap me awake and make me smile:

A few weeks before ago one of my tutor group was late. She’s twelve and I had seen her walking into school about thirty minutes before school started, so I already knew that her lateness was caused by her messing around on the yard with her friends. I decided to take a different approach with her. This was how the conversation genuinely went:

Me: Why are you late?

Child: (Thought for a bit) I had to take my little sister to school.

Me: Oh, I didn’t know you had a little sister. How old is she?

Child: Six.

Me: What school is she at?

Child: (named a school that is miles away).

Me: So if I were to go and ring your mother now she’d back you up?

Child: No, I’ve just remembered, I didn’t take my sister to school.

Me: Why did you tell me you did?

Child: I had a dream that I took my sister to school. I was confused.

Me: So you’re late because you had a dream you took your sister to school?

Child: Yes, I mean, no.

Me: So why were you late?

Child: I was on the yard and didn’t hear the whistle.

Me: Why didn’t you say that in the first place?

Child: (shrugs shoulders) dunno.

Most original and yet pointless excuse ever. Perhaps I should have showed her this quote:

“It is better to offer no excuse than a bad one.” ― George Washington

What about you guys? What’s the best lie you’ve ever been told by a child?

You can also find me on Twitter and Tumblr @suzie81blog, and don’t forget to check out my Facebook page http://www.facebook.com/suzie81speaks

33 Thoughts For My 33rd Birthday

Posted on November 27, 2014 by suzie81speaks

It’s my birthday tomorrow, and in light of the fact that I am going to be busy I wanted to leave you with some thoughts and ideas that may amuse you.

1. If it doesn’t matter, get rid of it. If you can’t get rid of it, it matters.

2. Getting no message can sometimes be a message in itself.

3. Life is not a fairytale. If you lose your shoe at midnight, you’re probably drunk.

4. Don’t regret knowing the people that come into your life – good people give you happiness, bad ones give you experience, the worst ones give you lessons and the best ones give you memories.

5. You can’t throw spaghetti at wall and expect it to spell something.

6. No good apology usually contains the word ‘but.’

7. It’s good to be informed instead of just being opinionated.

8. Normal seems to be getting dressed in clothes that are bought for work, driving through traffic in a car that is not yet paid off in order to get to the job that is needed to pay for the clothes and the car and the house that is left vacant all day so it is possible to afford to live in it.

9. There comes a time where you need to stop crossing oceans for people who wouldn’t jump puddles for you.

10. There may be two sides to every story. Unfortunately, there are some people who look like complete douchebags in both of them.

11. Tom Hanks is probably the only man that will ever make you cry over a lost volleyball.

12. It’s important to follow your heart, but equally important to take your brain with you.

13. The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest.

14. It is impossible to make the same mistake twice, because the second time is a choice.

15. It is better to be unique that trying to be perfect.

16. Life is too short to be serious all the time. If you can’t laugh at yourself, call someone who will laugh at you.

17. Don’t forget to post on Facebook every time you are going to the gym, otherwise the entire workout will be a complete waste of time.

18. That tingly feeling that is experienced when you like someone is often common sense leaving the body.

19. It’s better to have loved and lost than to do thirty pounds of laundry a week.

20. Take the opportunity to smile while you still have teeth.

21. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.

22. To succeed in life, you need three things – a wishbone, a backbone and a funnybone.

23. After a game of chess, the king and the pawn go in the same box.

24. It’s often said that you are what you eat. I clearly ate a sexy beast this morning.

25. You can’t completely open your mouth and stick you tongue out past your lips.

26. You just tried it.

27. You’ve just realised that I was lying.

28. Of your 99 problems, 83 of them will be completely made up nonsense and will result in unnecessary stress for no logical reason. These will undoubtedly surface at 3am when you have to be up early that day…

29. There’s a difference between being anti-social and anti-stupid.

30. Life is too short not to get drunk in a costume.

31. Nothing is more serious than turning on the caps lock during a public fight on the Internet.

32. Moving on is much easier to accept when you realise the other person was batsh*t crazy.

33. This:

If anybody needs me, I’ll be in the pub…

You can also find me on Twitter and Tumblr @suzie81blog and don’t forget to check out my Facebook page at http://www.facebook.com/suzie81speaks.

I Shouldn’t Be This Attached To a Phone, But…

Posted on November 26, 2014 by suzie81speaks

In the not-so-distant past, my personal life existed without the use of lots of technology. I didn’t have a home computer or the Internet and my mobile phone was a brick that I could use to ring someone, send them a text message or play snake on. I had a stack of hundreds of CD’s and a little CD player, basic television service and a DVD player.

Three years ago, I got an iPhone 4. I was late to jump on the Apple bandwagon, but being in a relationship with an Apple fanatic and all-round computer geek, I was easily swayed when it came time to renew my contract and decided to upgrade to something awesome.

From the minute I was handed that shiny black handset, I was hooked. Everything it did fascinated me and I spent hours poring over all the brilliant things I could now do that seemed almost space-aged to me before. However tragic it may sound, it became almost like another limb. Wherever I went, it came with me.

With the help of this little device, I kept in contact with everyone who means something to me through phonecalls, text messages, email, FaceTime, Facebook, Twitter… It was the source of laughter as my family and friends shared their stories, and of pain as I was informed of the loss of people that I loved. It helped me to mend broken relationships, and end others.

It shared with me major and local news events, corrected my spelling, told me the time in all the world’s major cities, informed me of the weather and reminded me of important birthdays and appointments.

It allowed me to kill zombies with plants, farm zombies, crush candies, match dots and throw agitated birds of various colours and sizes at green pigs.

It kept me entertained during train and plane journeys. It travelled to Paris, Malaga, New York, Philadelphia, Washington, London, Naples and Amsterdam with me. It joined me on the beach, at the spa, by the pool, in restaurants and nightclubs, the pub and several music gigs.

It encouraged me to watch entire seasons of ‘Drop Dead Diva,’ ‘White Collar,’ documentaries, children’s programmes that made me feel nostalgic and Rom Coms that I knew The Bloke didn’t want to see through the Netflix app.

It took this photograph:

And this one:

And this:

And over 10,000 more, which are all stored in random files on my computer.

It allowed me to expand my musical palette, downloading songs that I had previously forgotten. It gave me rock playlists to accompany my shopping trips, easy listening playlists to relax me in the bath, Motown and soul playlists when I needed cheering up. It helped me to downsize my CD collection, creating more space in the house and contributing to local charity shops.

It helped me develop my blog, storing my ideas in the notes section for a later time when I could copy and paste them into a new post.

It was my sanctuary when my brain wouldn’t allow me to sleep at night, and would wake me up during afternoon naps at a weekend.

It recorded every significant moment in my life in the last three years, and still doesn’t bear a single scratch.

Today, it decided that it had had enough, and travelled over the electronic bridge in the sky. I have an image of little wings on it’s back, happily flapping through the air and thinking ‘thank goodness I don’t have to listen to her ramblings anymore.’ I shouldn’t be this attached to a mobile phone, but… I’m gutted.

Goodbye my little phone, we had some good times together.

What about you guys? What piece of technology do you rely on?

You can also find me in Twitter and Tumblr @suzie81blog, and don’t forget to check out my Facebook page at http://www.facebook.com/suzie81speaks.

Kitten Therapy

Posted on November 18, 2014 by suzie81speaks

The world is a busy place – our lives are filled with jobs, traffic, places, colleagues, family and children every day and many of us are living in a state of constant fatigue and stress. So what happens when a unsuspecting and stressed-out member of the the public sits in a glass box with a pair of headphones and a bunch of kittens? Have a look at this lovely video – as an avid cat lover (and owner of two) I think that every workplace should have a room filled with kittens!

What do you do to de-stress at the end of a long day?

You can also find me in Twitter and Tumblr @suzie81blog and don’t forget to check out my Facebook page http://www.facebook.com/suzie81speaks

Video uploaded by SoulPancake

Never Again

Posted on November 12, 2014 by suzie81speaks

I normally enjoy most things that I do, but one thing that I’ve never really warmed to is walking or hiking over long distances. My mother adores going for long walks and I remember having to participate in many of them as a child and young teenager.

It wasn’t that I didn’t enjoy exercise – I regularly played badminton, went to karate classes and I swam several times a week, but there was something about simply walking that I found boring and tedious.

One of my closest friends at school found an advertisement for a walking group and she begged and pleaded with me to join her. She was exercise obsessed, I was weak-willed and consequently one Sunday I found myself stood on the top of a hill with a group of strangers. We went through the introductions and polite conversation, and then we walked. And walked. And walked. FOR EIGHTEEN MILES.

What I had assumed was that ‘a walk’ would mean a leisurely stroll across the hills for a few hours. Instead, these people were machines. They set off at a pace that would have put them in competition with Olympians, and sometimes I almost had to jog to keep up whilst attempting to avoid an epic amount of goat poo. It was cold, it was windy and I returned home with blisters the size of two pence pieces from my mother’s hiking boots and an absolute promise to myself that I would never participate in anything like that again.

I’ve stayed true to that promise, and I can guarantee that the only time you’ll ever see me up a hill whilst wearing hiking boots is if… No, it’ll never happen.

What about you guys? Do you enjoy exercising or does the thought of having to hike up a hill make you reach for the remote control?

You can also find me on Twitter and Tumblr @suzie81blog, and don’t forget to check out my Facebook page http://www.facebook.com/suzie81speaks

Picture credit: The Great Outdoors.

Brain Freeze and Post Recycling

Posted on November 11, 2014 by suzie81speaks

I haven’t had much opportunity to be able to post much over the last few weeks and so I took the chance to revisit articles from the last year. After twenty months of blogging and hundreds of posts I have reached a point where I am running out of ideas and was hoping to find inspiration in my old stuff.

I have done this at various points throughout the year and this has often resulted in the deletion of numerous posts that I didn’t feel were quite up to scratch, particularly as my following has grown and my writing style has developed. However, this time I found quite a few that hadn’t been viewed as much as some of my more recent ramblings, and so I have decided to edit them and share them again throughout the week. It has given me a chance to tidy up the blog and it’s content.

What about you guys? Do you look back on your previous articles and cringe, or do you want to share them again?

You can also find me on Twitter and Tumblr @suzie81blog, and don’t forget to check out my Facebook page http://www.facebook.com/suzie81speaks

Overheard Conversations

Posted on November 7, 2014 by suzie81speaks

think.bigchief.it

Warning: adult (and stupid) content.

“Are you still with ____?’

A young man was smoking a cigarette with a group of his friends in the beer garden this evening. He was shivering in just his T Shirt and jeans in the cold wind, and he turned round to see a girl standing behind him. He seemed angry.

“What? Me?”

The girl took a step towards him and pointed at him.

“Yeah, are you still with ___?”

He obviously wasn’t in the mood for an argument, so he turned his back on her and ignored her.

Bad decision. She moved around so that she was facing him.

“I’ve lost all respect for you mate. You’re with ____ and now you’re messing about with that silly sl*g? You haven’t even seen her for months! Who do you think you are?”

My friend and I had stopped talking by this point, distracted by what was happening behind us. The woman stormed off. The man shrugged it off and laughed. They all went back inside and my friend and I continued our conversation. A few minutes later, the same man and an obviously drunk woman came outside. She had her arms tightly around his neck and I got the impression that he was a little uncomfortable and was trying to push her off.

“I love you. You’re beautiful. You’re a beautiful man. We’re meant to be together. I love you, I love you, I love you. I’m sorry I kicked you out. We’re meant to be together you and me. I’ve not seen you for four months. I’ve never loved anyone like you. You know what we’re going to do tonight? We’re going to go home and sh*g. I’m going to sh*g you like there’s no tomorrow. And then we can be together for the rest of our lives. Me and you. I’m sorry I kicked you out…”

She then started singing the chorus of Sam Smith’s ‘Stay With Me’ repeatedly. He went back inside and her friend came out to check that she was ok. The drunk girl carried on ranting.

“I can’t believe I’ve seen him again after all this time. I love him so much. I’ve been thinking about him all this time and now he’s here.” She then proceeded to share what she intended to do to him that evening. I’m quite an open person, but her graphic description even turned my stomach a little. She knocked her pint over, spilling beer everywhere and smashing the glass on the floor. They went back inside.

A few minutes later, the man and his friends returned.

“Are you going home with her tonight mate?”

The man laughed and took a drag from his cigarette.

“Well, I’m drunk and she’s up for it, so I might as well.” His friends laughed.

“Besides, she’s got nice t*ts.”

It may have been 4.30pm, but the dramatics can be found at any time of day or night at my local. Ah, love’s young dream. Unfortunately, I get the impression that it may not end quite how the girl (or the man’s girlfriend) is expecting. However, it’s still a better love story that Twilight.

Have you ever heard a conversation from different perspectives that made you smile?

You can also find me on Twitter and Tumblr @suzie81blog.

Moving On

Posted on November 3, 2014 by suzie81speaks

It’s always difficult when people decide to move on and the process can often be a very painful experience. A good friend of mine is in the process of making the decision whether to leave her boyfriend – the biggest part of her life for a number of years – and I sat with her tonight as she considered whether to accept a tenancy on a new house, alone. We went through the pros of staying, of which there were quite a few – it was cheaper, she wouldn’t have to move etc, and then we looked at the cons. There was just one: she was miserable.

That was enough to tell me how she was feeling, and that leaving was probably a more obvious choice. Of course, I didn’t say that at the time – it has to be her decision – but ultimately happiness should be the key factor when deciding most things. Sometimes, this can be found in the removal of toxic people from our lives, however painful it may seem at the time.

I’ve experienced several breakdowns in relationships and friendships over the years. Some were quite a slow process – no angry words were exchanged, but over time the once regular phonecalls and meet-ups gradually petered out. It’s a shame, but it’s an unfortunate fact of life that as people grow, sometimes this means growing apart from each other. Others, however, were hurtful, nasty and immediate. I’ve been the instigator of some. I remember telling a very self-centred and needy former friend after a number of incidents where she was rude and belittled me and those around me that the main reason why she had no friends, no boyfriend and no job was not because of all the ridiculous excuses that she offered, it was because she wasn’t a very nice person. I also remember finally leaving my sociopath ex-boyfriend after years of dealing with emotional abuse. I haven’t spoken to any of them since, and I’ve never regretted either decision.

I’ve also been on the other side of the proverbial coin, where I have had friendships taken away without my consent, or even my knowledge for a while. There’s a scene that always springs to mind from one of my favourite films, ‘Beaches,’ where Hillary (Barbara Hershey) deliberately ignores CC (Bette Midler), despite years of close friendship, after being aggrieved by something that CC has said to her. After Hillary’s life falls apart, she returns to CC, who angrily responds by yelling “You took your friendship away without discussing it with me!” I can relate – I’ve had friendship decisions made for me without so much as a discussion, with them deliberately trying to hurt me on purpose because I had supposedly hurt them by accident. The younger me found this very difficult to deal with and I always desperately tried to make things better – apologising for things I hadn’t done, accepting being treated badly as ‘penance’ for a situation I had apparently caused… I should have simply had ‘doormat’ tattoed on my forehead.

As I’ve aged, however, I generally take things a little more in my stride. I may not be perfect – I’ve yet to meet anyone who is – but I know that I’m a good person. The people that I choose to have in my life mean a lot to me and I will go above and beyond for them whenever they need it, having done so on endless occasions. If somebody decides that my presence is a negative one and they need to move on, then so be it. Inevitably, I know I live a good life and I am thankful to be surrounded by people that are there when I need them and when I don’t. These are the people that matter.

I hope that my friend makes a decision that she’s happy with, whether she stays or leaves, and above all, I hope that she is able to move on from her current situation.

After all, there are always far better things ahead that the ones we leave behind.

You can also find me on Twitter and Tumblr @suzie81blog.

#SundayBlogShare

Posted on November 1, 2014 by suzie81speaks

It’s Sunday tomorrow, and that means only one thing: my #SundayBlogShare Twitter party!

I participate in several parties throughout the week – #MondayBlogs, #WWWBlogs and #ArchiveDay, and decided to start my own each Sunday to give the blogging community another chance to share their posts and meet other people.

It has turned out to be a much bigger success than even I expected – with the first two weeks hundreds of people have participated, sharing over a thousand posts and I’ve received lots of messages from bloggers who saw a increase in traffic and followers. A huge part of this was due to the promotion given by the wonderfully supportive WordPress community that I am part of particularly Gene’O @sourcererblog and Austin @Austin_Hodgens, to name a few.

The instructions for #SundayBlogShare are simple:

Tweet a link to a post from your blog.

Include the hashtag #SundayBlogShare.

Enjoy! Retweet posts from other bloggers, comment and follow! You don’t have to follow Suzie81 Speaks or it’s associated social media profiles.

To make it a positive experience, here are some simple rules for everyone to follow.

1. #SundayBlogShare is a happy place. Racist, homophobic and/or sexist comment are not allowed. If you disagree with the content of a post, do so in a polite and respectful manner.

2. No pornography.

3. You are welcome to share more than one post. However, don’t use is as an opportunity to spam by posting everything that you’ve ever written.

4. Only share blog links – while I enjoy inspirational quotes, #SundayBlogShare is not the place to post them.

5. Don’t beg for follows or retweets, but feel free to retweet others!

Looking forward to seeing you all there tomorrow! Feel free to reblog this post and invite all your friends!

You can also find me on Twitter and Tumblr @suzie81blog, and you can also find my Facebook page at http://www.facebook.com/suzie81speaks